I Love You Mama

https://www.facebook.com/markianbenhamou1998/videos/647377372054227/

Just watched the video above and I cried 😭

I somehow survived one full lap around the sun without my guiding light. I miss her voice. I talked to her at least four times a day. How is it possible I have survived 365 days without her?

Ya! I still miss her terribly. Perhaps now that I am feeling so much better than I have in the last year I’m wishing that my mom had been around to be next to me, to hold me, to comfort me on the way down and to share the triumph with me on the way up.  To be proud of my achievements.  

Regardless, I loved her immensely and we were best friends.  I miss taking her to the clinic for checking up. We enjoyed the time we spent together. We hung out just because we got along so well and we liked spending time with each other. We went out to hair salon, we went for shopping and we went out for eating. We laughed, we cried, we held hands and sometimes we didn’t have to say a word. I’m sorry Mom.  I can't spend all the memories with you again. So many regrets.  So much time I thought we would have together. 

I miss her validation. She helped me believe in myself. She dared me to dream. She told me the truth. I hope she knew how much her opinion meant to me. I wanted the best for you, and it hurts me so much that we were never able to achieve it. 

I miss her love. No one loved me like my mom, and no one ever will again. I love and miss you with all my broken heart.

1 year and 4 months. Al-Fatihah~ ❤

 بِسْمِ ٱللَّهِ ٱلرَّحْمَـنِ ٱلرَّحِيم ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ ٱلْعَـلَمِين۞ ٱلرَّحْمَـنِ ٱلرَّحِيم۞ مَـلِكِ يَوْمِ ٱلدِّين۞إِيَّاكَ نَعْبُدُ وَإِيَّاكَ نَسْتَعِينُ۞ ٱهْدِنَا ٱلصِّرَطَ ٱلْمُسْتَقِيمَ۞صِرَطَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ۞ غَيْرِ ٱلْمَغْضُوبِ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلاَ ٱلضَّاۤلِّينَ۞امين

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Ramadhan

Surviving Ramadhan for the 1st time without HER which is my KEKASIH is so hard. How difficult it is to live without you ma. 

To all,

May Allah bless;

Your days with happiness;

Your weeks with prosperity;

Your months with contentment;

And your years with love and peace!

Happy Ramadhan~ ❤

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WW : M O M

  

           

I still miss you everyday~ ❤️

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Rindu

Ya Aku Rindu Mama

Al-Fatihah~ ❤️

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The 40th Day Without You

First year of birthday without you,


only one wish could there be,


to blow out my candles,


and have you standing there beside me..

First birthday of missing you,


First birthday with a heart of pain,


What I wouldn’t give


to have you in my life again...

Today is my 1st birthday without you and one thing is for sure, I'm not getting the phone call in the morning again. 

I love you to the moon and back ma!

Al-Fatihah~ ❤️

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Hear the heart speaks: Al-Fatihah for Mama

If only I could pour my heart out..

If only I could make you realize..

If only we could turn back time..

If only there would be another life..

I don’t know what had possessed me lately, but I just can’t concentrate on what to write for this blog. A lot of things are going in my life, but still I didn’t feel like to blog about it, it’s not I have lost my interest towards writing, it is just plain laziness.

For those who are close to me, all know that recently I’ve lost my mom. She passed away on 6^th December 2015. That was my biggest loss in my entire life. Losing her was not easy as I’m the only daughter in my families. To be honest, I fell. I know it will take months or years for me to stand up back. To be frank, I am still not over it. But I know, I need to let her go. She is in a better place right now.

How did that happen? Well please grab a chair and keep reading this entry. Let see whether I able to write this entry without tears am rolling down on my face or not :P

Below are my post via FB.

Ya, my mom has been suffering due to diabetes. On November, when I went to visit her, she looks in good conditions. As usual when I returned to Bangi, after I kissed her, I went back and continue doing what I was doing just now and I remember before she left, her last words to me was “Doakan Mama, Ina”. I didn’t know that was the last time I’m gonna see her.

Sunday morning (6^th December 2015) around 11.30 am, my brother called me and he said…

Angah: Ina, mama dah tiada

I was still in a blurry and I cried. I know that was a real and deep inside, I’ve lost her. I cried and cried behind my husband. Allah knows what is best for her. Indeed. She left peacefully. MasyaAllah, “Mama dah tiada”. There’s ups and down, but more to down I guess.

But Alhamdulillah, everything went smooth for her during that day. Thank you to all.

I have people around to give me support. I think Allah loves me that He sent me bunch of people who really care, thoughtful and kind. Besides supportive family. I really appreciate it. 

I hope while reading this entry, you could spend a minute or two to “sedekah Al-Fatihah” to my late mom and not to forget, to my heart for having such heavy pain to bear with.

Don’t worry. I’m stay strong. As long as I have Allah in my life, I’m pretty sure that I can survive on this road.

Dear Mama,

I’m proud of how strong you are during facing your pain. You’re the most priceless thing I’ve ever had. I know you are happy now. Only Allah knows how much I need you right now. You know ma, how hard my everyday without you and I was never ready for you to leave. The beautiful memories of the times we’ve spent together make me smile, only until the moment when they eventually remind me that you’re no longer here. I know you are listening from there. There’s nothing that I value more, than your love. No matter where I am or what I am doing, your memories will always keep me smiling. I really miss you ma and you will always be my best friend. 

Ya, it’s already passed two weeks. Today, I miss Mama more than ever. May Allah forgive all her sins, accept all her good deeds and place her among the best of His Believers. May Allah have a place for her in Jannah. Aamiin Ya Rabb.

Appreciate your loved ones before it’s too late. Grab all the moments that you can share with them. Your never know when is the last time you will see them as a person. Cherish every moment and just appreciate everyone. It does not cost a thing~ ❤

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