Hear the heart speaks: Al-Fatihah for Mama

If only I could pour my heart out..

If only I could make you realize..

If only we could turn back time..

If only there would be another life..

I don’t know what had possessed me lately, but I just can’t concentrate on what to write for this blog. A lot of things are going in my life, but still I didn’t feel like to blog about it, it’s not I have lost my interest towards writing, it is just plain laziness.

For those who are close to me, all know that recently I’ve lost my mom. She passed away on 6^th December 2015. That was my biggest loss in my entire life. Losing her was not easy as I’m the only daughter in my families. To be honest, I fell. I know it will take months or years for me to stand up back. To be frank, I am still not over it. But I know, I need to let her go. She is in a better place right now.

How did that happen? Well please grab a chair and keep reading this entry. Let see whether I able to write this entry without tears am rolling down on my face or not :P

Below are my post via FB.

Ya, my mom has been suffering due to diabetes. On November, when I went to visit her, she looks in good conditions. As usual when I returned to Bangi, after I kissed her, I went back and continue doing what I was doing just now and I remember before she left, her last words to me was “Doakan Mama, Ina”. I didn’t know that was the last time I’m gonna see her.

Sunday morning (6^th December 2015) around 11.30 am, my brother called me and he said…

Angah: Ina, mama dah tiada

I was still in a blurry and I cried. I know that was a real and deep inside, I’ve lost her. I cried and cried behind my husband. Allah knows what is best for her. Indeed. She left peacefully. MasyaAllah, “Mama dah tiada”. There’s ups and down, but more to down I guess.

But Alhamdulillah, everything went smooth for her during that day. Thank you to all.

I have people around to give me support. I think Allah loves me that He sent me bunch of people who really care, thoughtful and kind. Besides supportive family. I really appreciate it. 

I hope while reading this entry, you could spend a minute or two to “sedekah Al-Fatihah” to my late mom and not to forget, to my heart for having such heavy pain to bear with.

Don’t worry. I’m stay strong. As long as I have Allah in my life, I’m pretty sure that I can survive on this road.

Dear Mama,

I’m proud of how strong you are during facing your pain. You’re the most priceless thing I’ve ever had. I know you are happy now. Only Allah knows how much I need you right now. You know ma, how hard my everyday without you and I was never ready for you to leave. The beautiful memories of the times we’ve spent together make me smile, only until the moment when they eventually remind me that you’re no longer here. I know you are listening from there. There’s nothing that I value more, than your love. No matter where I am or what I am doing, your memories will always keep me smiling. I really miss you ma and you will always be my best friend. 

Ya, it’s already passed two weeks. Today, I miss Mama more than ever. May Allah forgive all her sins, accept all her good deeds and place her among the best of His Believers. May Allah have a place for her in Jannah. Aamiin Ya Rabb.

Appreciate your loved ones before it’s too late. Grab all the moments that you can share with them. Your never know when is the last time you will see them as a person. Cherish every moment and just appreciate everyone. It does not cost a thing~ ❤

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